28 Days In…

AN UPDATE: On the 66 Day Journey to Positive Habits.

So…if you know me…I mean really know me. It would not surprise you at all that I am posting my first update 28 days in to my 66 Day Journey to Positive Habits. You remember that blog, right? You know…the “it’s a new year, and here’s how I’m going to improve my life” deep essay at the beginning of the year. The expectation that I set for myself in that first blog was a weekly accounting of how well I was doing. The point in doing that was to share with you lessons learned along the way and quite frankly, a little bit of accountability on my end.  YEAH…so much for a renewed effort on accountability in 2020.

But all is not lost. It is said that in failure there is great opportunity for learning. And if I have learned nothing in my failures, it’s that’s it’s also a great opportunity for SPIN. So do not think of this post as long overdue. Instead, think of it as me intentionally waiting until I had passed that first 21 days that research says is necessary for your new behavior to start feeling normal. So now everything I share is “officially research tested”. I know, that’s me….always thinking of how to “officially” help.

So before my “official findings”, let me provide some context to the story. I am widow of 7 years now, after an incredibly happy 36 year marriage to my high school sweetheart. We were clearly the ying to each other’ s yang, and it worked. And while in my heart, I always knew he was the discipline side of our lives, in my brain I somehow retained this notion that I “allowed him to be the discipline side”; because surely I possessed the discipline necessary for my own life, right? Wrong…so, so wrong.

I didn’t come to grips with this realization until a good 5 years after his death. And even after reaching that point, I lived the next 2 years with the rationalization that discipline wasn’t really necessary in my life at this point anyway. Again, Wrong…so, so wrong. Finally, both my heart and my brain started screaming… it’s time this issue gets addressed. Writing about it and creating a public accountability seemed the perfect way to ensure success. And.. one more time, Wrong…so, so wrong.

But there are lessons learned on any journey and remember, mine are “officially researched tested” lessons. So let me share just a quick few that were glaringly obvious in just 28 days.

JANUARY 1st IS NOT FULL OF SPECIAL FAIRY DUST

I understand the thinking behind the idea that the first of the year is a good time to start anew. And typically, there are a lot of people that start out with strong early commitment in January and that inspiration to begin the year with healthy, productive behavior. Unfortunately, not me. In my case the first two weeks of January had three major deadlines that had me living with fast food, caffeine, old sweatpants, and a laptop permanently connected to my thighs until 2am most days. The concept of a new year can be a strong motivator for change. It can also be an unrealistic trap that leads us to continue rationalizing why bad behavior because good behavior isn’t attainable. There is no special fairy dust in January that makes change inevitable. The best time is the time when it works best for you, and if that’s August 29th, then go for it! For me it turned out to be January 18th, when my deadlines were passed and salad sounded good again.

TAKE THE LITTLE WINS

Like most people, my new disciplined life full of healthy habits required a major overhaul of many of my daily routines. So I started off with a major overhaul of both my morning routine and my nighttime routine. I devised a very specific hour and a half routine each day and night that would ensure I was using my time in a healthy, self reflective, and efficient and preparatory way. About 40% of the routine I had already been doing, but about 60% was new or an increased amount of what I had previously been doing. Within 5 days I had gotten into a routine of about 60% of it…and have never progressed beyond that. But guess what? The 20% I added is a great healthy addition. And a couple weeks in, I’m still doing that extra 20%….well, most days. Take the little wins. Adding little wins over time gets you to the same place. And it creates a real confidence that the next 20% is possible.

VISUALIZE IT UNIQUELY YOUR WAY

I’m sure you’ve heard that new age wisdom…see it, then be it! A lot of great athletes spend time visualizing their success, so why not us average people? No… I did not just mean to imply that you should spend time every evening visualizing you taking your vitamins the following morning. But what I have learned about myself, is that I am a visual learner. It helps me to process how it all works, when I can see it on paper or on a whiteboard. Knowing that, I took a big poster board and mapped out the morning and night routines…with pictures and colors and arrows and smiley faces and clocks. And then taped it to my closet doors that I have to open every morning and close every night. Damn, if that doesn’t hit me in the face a couple of times a day. I keep a marker handy and add to it some days. Visualizing works. But it really works if you do in a way that uniquely resonates with you. I love mine now…but don’t ask. There is no way in hell I’m sharing it!

So there you go…28 days in…15 days of changed behavior…20% improvement. I’ll take that progress. See you at 56…I mean next week.