In honor of the 2020 Oscars, here are the movies that best represent the chapters in my life so far…what are yours?

I watched an interview recently, where 20 year NBA veteran Jamal Crawford said that he viewed his career like a hip hop artist dropping albums. Using Jay Z as an example he likened his Chicago Bulls playing time to Jay Z’s Reasonable Doubt album. On the other hand, his New York Knicks career was more like The Black Album. And while I wouldn’t begin to embarrass myself or any hip hop artist by attempting to view my life through their magical music, I did get to thinking about how the plot lines in the story of my life would definitely relate to some great movies that we all know and love. I’m sure that idea was not so much my original thinking as it was the result of too many hours of watching this years Oscar’s show. And yes, I did get the whole Eminem thing, unlike most of the crowd.

Putting the many years of my life into just a few chapters isn’t easy, but let’s begin with the first two decades as chapter one. My high school rebellion, college craziness, and pre-marriage years can best be summarized by the BREAKFAST CLUB; not any one character, but bits and pieces of all five of the stars in this film. I went through every one of those phases, sometimes two at a time. And yes, I did my fair share of detention, smoking in the senior lounge, sleeping through my freshman year, worrying about grades, and wearing combat boots and oversized sweaters. And if that’s a difficult visual for you to believe, I can guarantee you that my High School BFF’s, who still matter in my life, will comment on this blog with a 70’s “true that”.

The next two decades of my life provides a chapter title that’s pretty obvious: SPEED. Not because I ever drove a bus or was almost killed by a bomb, or that I fell in love with Keanu Reeves…well ok I did fall in love with Keanu Reeves…alright, alright, I’m still in love with Keanu Reeves; but mostly because those years where just a constant pedal to the metal, praying you wouldn’t crash feeling every day, all day, hoping you are doing this thing called life right. Married two weeks after graduating from college, pregnant three months later, building a career, raising three daughters, moving to a new state not once but twice, losing both my parents, and fighting for equality was a crazy ass bus ride. It sometimes felt like 50 miles an hour and steady, sometimes 80 and frighting, and sometimes a very slow and depressing 25. But just like Sandra Bullock, I had my own Keanu Reeves helping me keep a steady foot on the gas and two hands on the wheel. My husband and I navigated our way through it all when many couples would not have; and my children appear to be none the worse for it. Although, let’s all just admit one thing. We really wanted Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves to end up together in real life, right?

And then there’s this chapter. There are so many films I could go with for the next two decades of my life but I decided on the movie WILD. While these were definitely some of my absolute best years, they were also sometimes the ones I questioned the most. With the kids grown and married, my career on auto pilot, and the freedom to explore, I started to think about my legacy. And I’m not always quite sure what it is. And just as I’m wrestling with the question of me and who I am, I lose my husband. In this chapter I’m no longer a wife but a widow. Now there is only me. I really question who I am, where I’ve been and where I’m now going. I wonder if the path my life has taken was the right one. And just like Reese Witherspoon in the movie, I eventually realize that all those things I’ve questioned about my life is what has brought me to here. And here is my life. It belongs only to me. Unlike her character in the movie however, I chose to spend my time in therapy to reach that conclusion rather than backpacking thousands of miles of wilderness along the Pacific West Trail.

And now we come to my current chapter. This analogy is going to have you saying WTF? But…only a couple of years into this next two decades, I am living the life of BLACK PANTHER. And yes, I am fully aware I am not black, nor male, nor a super hero. But what I believe resonates with people (and especially me) in this movie, is the wonder and awe of Wakanda. I am living very happily in a state of Wakanda in this chapter of my life. Full of love for what my live is and what it could be. It is peaceful like the fictional country of Wakanda, but always looking for the next better way to live. I am not however naive enough to believe that danger isn’t always lurking near by. And so I stock pile my own stash of vibranium..my tribe of people that will always be there to protect my wonder and awe. So all is good. And let’s be real here. Who doesn’t love those bad ass warrior women. And the clothes? Yeeeessss..Wakunda forever for me!