Guarding your energy is way more important than guarding your time.
It took me a long time before I truly understood the importance of my personal energy. Maybe it was because I grew up in an era that for women to succeed in a career, they often times needed to acquiesce to the skill sets deemed more appropriate by their male counterparts. Of course we needed to be smart, but not too smart; what I refer to as demurred intelligence. And of course you had to be articulate, but not too articulate. And a team player, but never the captain. And positive and optimistic, but in a supportive kind of way.
So when referred to as the ‘energizer bunny” twice in my career by important men (both Presidents of their respective State Senates at the time), I was not honored. I was horrified. Could this be what people see? Not my sharp business mind, political savvy, or articulation skills. It took me a long time to realize my energy was how I commanded their attention and then developed our relationship. It was not a bad thing. It was indeed one of my superpowers. As you should know from reading my previous blogs, I am a big believer in discovering and utilizing your personal superpowers!
Like all superpowers, the trick is learning when and how to use it. I can’t tell you I have perfected that but I have gotten better over the years. And a comment made by Molly Fletcher at a conference I attended once really helped me with that. Molly is a phenomenal speaker, previously a sports agent; and talk about a male dominated business! In her talk she said “guarding your energy is way more important than guarding your time”. The instant she said it, I got it. While it’s not a good thing, wasting time is not near as damaging to your personal self then wasting your energy is. Using your energy in a way that is non productive, non reciprocated, can drain you and cause you to lose even more time just trying to get it back.
I reminded myself of that this morning. I was feeling anxious and drained. It started yesterday, but was still there when I woke up this morning. Luckily for me, I live the kind of life now that allows me the space to sit and wonder why. Wondering is another superpower of mine by the way. I LOVE to wonder. Sidetracked, see how easy it is for me wander while I’m wondering? Sorry. So in my thoughts I ran through everything that could be the cause. And when I couldn’t land on one thing, when everything seemed to be the cause, I took a deep breath and just asked myself why. But even then, I just didn’t even have the energy to think through this. And that’s when it hit me. Damn girl…what happened to my Energizer Bunny self?
There are a lot of reasons your energy gets depleted. And it’s easy to think it’s your fault. That’s often true. What is more difficult however is to accept that you have given more energy to your world than it has given you back. And that is only your fault because you let it happen. You did not guard your energy. You let people in who were energy drainers. It so typical of me, and many women I know, to ignore the lack of energy being reciprocated, and instead, double down on giving more. It’s like me saying…”Hey people, just take my positive energy and use it for yourself. It’s ok that you give me nothing in return; or give me negative energy back. It’s what I do. So go ahead. Enjoy it as I curl up on the couch trying to figure out why I can’t answer the door all the while believing you might someday give me energy too”. Seriously, it sounds so much worse when you put it in print. But it is what is happening!
And that was my day yesterday. But it is not going to be my day today. Today I will intentionally avoid the energy drainers that got to me this past week. Today I will re-energize and use that new energy to become “Force Sensitive” as they say in Star Wars. Today, “I am a Jedi. I am one with the Force and the Force will guide me”. Come on…it’s way cooler than being the Energizer Bunny, right?
Casey's Couch 